just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
