Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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