Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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