let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
