that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
