But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
