My hand turned me down
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
