tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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