So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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