I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
