I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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