I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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