she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
