My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
