College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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