I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
