She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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