you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
