you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
