Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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