You're my little dorito
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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