In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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