it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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