New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
