He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I understand Curling. That high.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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