Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
