When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
