my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
they're like a gay fantastic four
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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