Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
