I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
