Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
