Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
