his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
