lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
