i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
