After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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