To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
