My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
