I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
