Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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