I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
