I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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