we're blogging at a bar
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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