Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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