i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
