But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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