office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
