i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
