Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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