I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the day after is always just damage control
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
